Do Not Outsource Your Judgement

How many times have you been told to stay away from someone?

In business, it happens constantly. “She’s not very nice.” “He’s aggressive.” “They’re difficult.”

Sometimes that warning is accurate. Sometimes it’s lifesaving. And sometimes it’s just gossip wearing a blazer.

There’s a meaningful difference between avoiding actual toxicity and avoiding people who are simply… sharp, guarded, exhausted, or misunderstood. Those distinctions matter more than we like to admit, because one protects your energy and the other quietly costs you opportunity.

Recently, someone advised me to “be careful” around a particular person in business. The implication was clear: unpleasant, hard to work with, not worth the risk. I listened. I noted it. And then I still picked up the phone.

What I found wasn’t a villain. It was a human. A direct one. A cautious one. A person who likely earned their edges honestly. The conversation went well. A few small wins followed. Nothing magical, but enough to remind me why I don’t outsource my judgment.

That doesn’t mean the warnings were wrong. I can see exactly why others might struggle with certain people. I stay alert. I stay boundaried. I don’t throw caution out the window. But I also don’t let reputation close the door before I ever step inside.

An uncomfortable truth is that business ecosystems are small, emotional, and prone to narrative drift. One bad interaction becomes a label. One stressful season becomes a permanent identity. And once that story starts circulating, it gains momentum whether it’s fair or not.

Sometimes people aren’t mean. They’re tired. Burned. Defensive from past dealings. Sometimes they’ve had such a rough go of it that they’re braced for impact before anyone even arrives. And occasionally someone just needs to be met with a little unexpected understanding.

Now, let’s be clear. Some people truly are toxic. Some people repeatedly show you who they are, and the right move is distance, not diplomacy. Discernment still matters. Boundaries are not optional.

But I’ve learned that letting “the word on the street” be your only data point is a risky way to navigate serious business. Make your own assessments. Pay attention. Trust patterns over rumors.

Proceed with caution, but proceed. Because sometimes the opportunity you’re looking for is sitting right behind a story that was never fully yours to begin with.

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